One Afternoon at the Passport office...

Man behind Window (MBW) -"VSNL is a government entity".....

Me -"No sir it isnt, ist owned by the Tata group" ...

MBW - "No, No Its government, you need a No Objection certificate ...." (yawns)

Me (desperate) -- "Sir it WAS a government enterprise its now a listed private company...."

MBW -" Please come and meet my senior officer"

Me and MBW go to meet senior officer, the whole queue stares at us .... ready to pounce and bury me for wasting their (already long wasted) time further.....

MBW and me stand in front of officer while he signs some docs and talks on the phone.

Officer- Yes

MBW - Sir He (pointing at me) is a govt. employee and doesnt have a NOC....

Me - (cutting in between) ... I am not a govt. employee -- I work for VSNL....

Officer - VSNL ,( Duh!!!! ) -- full form kaay?

Me - Videsh San.....

MBW -- (Butting in) ... Videsh Sanchar Nigam Limited .... Govt. company Sahib.... ( I think its in the MBW's KRA to reject at least one application per hour and he is desperately trying to achieve the same)

Me - No NO its listed, it has TATA group majority stake .... they bought it in 2002. ( I suddenly realise if this man can perplex me so much with 10 words.... what "third degree torture would be with Mumbai Police")

Officer --- (looking at me skeptically and then at the MBW confidently) --- Are you sure?

Me - Yes Yes !!!

Officer - (Scratches his head and considers for a while) ..... Are you ready to give it in writing

Me - ( With a cocktail feeling of Confusion, shock, amusement and desperation) Give what in writing???

Officer - That VSNL is not a govt. entity and you do not require a NOC....

Me - You want ME to write that

Officer - Yes and sign .....

Me - OK (I thought for a second the officer would also ask me to swear on Bhagwad Gita " Whatever i say is the truth and the ultimate truth")

Me and MBW walk back to the window -- once again we get stares and grunts for delay....

I scrtch out a letter on a "rough page" provided by MBW, he apporves of it (seems dejected though for not achieveing his KRA) and accepts the papers for

"Issue of Additional Passport Booklet"............

--- "This is based on a true incident at the regional Passport office Worli, Mumbai. The characters and script are totally real and any lack of resemblence to real characters is purely due to shortfalls in my writing skills."

I have a lot to say on the whole process for issue of Passports and peripheral services but specifically on the above issue. Is a letter from me good enough proof of me not being a Govt. employee?, shouldnt the govt. issue a list of companies which are govt. and require NOC?

Why should eveen grassroot level govt. employees including sweepers, Clerks, Primary Secondary school teachers etc require a No Objection Certificate from the Govt.? Is there any risk of them absconding with "secret data" and if they do want to abscond, wouldnt they make a passport first and then try to abscond? Why, why, why.........?

More on how the whole process is a "organisational process" disaster as would be classified by "Goal" famous Elihau Goldraitt in coming posts.

Death of Long queues

"why is he taking so much time" Honk Honk.... "I should have been in the other queue, It seems ot be moving faster".... "Sorry Lunch break you will have to wait for another half hour".....I am sure each one of us had had these thoughts and heard this waiting in queues -- be it at the toll plaza or at the railway ticket counter or in the world of retail boom even at the Supermarket.

Imagine if you could zoom past the Toll plaza with automatic billing to your mobile, or just wave your mobile phone at the supermarket counter..... be prepared it might happen soon in India too.

Here are some examples where this technology ---Near Field communications (NFC) for geeks -- has already started being implemented.

"From August 2007, the Nokia 6131 NFC phone has been sold to the public inseveral Chinese cities (Xiamen, Guangzhou and Beijing). The phone comes with apre-loaded transport application that can be used in the cities’ public transportsystems. The application includes a prepaid account used to pay for transporttickets, which can also be used to pay in selected shops.

Taiwan is set to become the first country in the world offering mobile debit andcredit card services based on NFC. Both announcements indicate that Taiwaneseoperators and banks are prepared to offer mobile contactless payment services ona large scale."

In the era of shrinking ARPU's and increasing competition for mobile operators in India, I think this is the avenue which many mobile operators in India too would be exploring.

Lets look at the rough economics for a Toll Booth at Vashi in Mumbai. It has about 8 booths both ways. At any given point in time all booths have at least a 4 car queue and at times long snaking queues. However today given the physical nature of transaction, it takes average of 40 secs per person to pay and move -- - more if exact change is not tendered. Which means a capability of serving average 70 cars per booth per hour = 500 cars per hour or 12,000 per day. Even if the processing time can be reduced by 5 secs per car it would mean additional 1500 cars (please note demand is not an issue since the queue is omnipresent). An average of 30 Rs per car means additional revenue of Rs 45000 per day, an increase of ~13%. Imagine a product where a mobile company launches this service wherein you can SMS your car number as you approach the Toll booth so that you have a special lane wherein you can simply pass thru by holding up your mobile, the toll amount being charged to your prepaid/postpaid account This could reduce the processing time to less than 10 secs -- since the person would effectively continue to dirve past with only the number being scanned. The mobile companies could keep 1rs per transaction -either charged extra or by having osme rev share mechanism with the Toll Booth owner since their revenues are increased and costs are reduced. Assuming a ramp upp to 20% customers and increased car traffic to ~ 20000 cars per day ( 1500 additional cars/ 5 secs for a 30 sec reduction in time) there would be a revennue of 2000 rs per day per toll booth, equivalent to 5 peoples ARPU per month.

OK i agree that above is not a worked out product, but i am sure a good product team and some more brainstorming can come up with the final application. I am sure that even if the phone company were to bear the cost of infrastructure to install B-end of the application at the Toll plaza this would be a profitable venture. With added incentives like lower toll cost for paying thru mobile --- you can do this by sharing additional revenues + passing on cost savings of printing receipts to the car owners ---- there would soon be increased usage. An this is just one toll plaza imagine how many such toll booths we encounter just in and around Mumbai, imagine the number of car travellers with mobile phones (90% +), imagine the hotseller this product would be, imagine the increased ARPU's....... imagine similar such applications in Supermarkets, railway tickets, "pay N Park ", Movie tickets, ........... with NFC implemented its not hard for this imaginiation to become a reality.......

Between the Rock & a Hard place

Let’s say your spouse decides to cook you an extra special meal. It’s your favorite. It takes him/her a lot of work. You enjoy the meal and naturally offer to do the cleaning up by yourself.
But here’s the kicker: Your spouse loves to cook, and you hate to clean up, especially after a long day and a big meal. As you wipe down the table and wash the extra-high pile of pots and pans from the extra-special meal, which thought do you have?
1. My spouse gave me something special tonight.
2. I got screwed in this deal.
--- Credited to Scott Adams

And something on related lines --
Dr. Rangel says ---
"Wine her, Dine her, Call her, Hug her, Support her, Hold her, Surprise her, Compliment her, Smile at her, Listen to her, Laugh with her, Cry with her, Romance her, Encourage her, Believe in her, Pray with her, Pray for her, Cuddle with her, Shop with her, Give her jewelry, Buy her flowers, Hold her hand, Write love letters to her, Go to the end of the Earth and back again for her."
Just imagine substituting “him” for “her” in this passage, and telling women to do it. “I want to be his girlfriend, not his slave” would be a reasonable response.

Dilemmas of "Hi-Hello" acquaintances

My aunt has diabetesYou see, that's the trouble with people you know slightly. Those you know well, you can sit and talk for hours. And those who are strangers, you can ignore completely. But those inbetween, the ones you sort-of know, as a passing acquaintance, they are the ones who are most difficult to handle. And I was stuck with one such on a train journey.She was my aunt's neighbour and I had met her a couple of times before. Very very briefly. But no sooner had I settled down in my seat than she started wondering aloud where she knew me from. Once we had established our route to acquaintanceship, we then carried on talking about our mutual link. My aunt. After I had told her about my aunt's recent widowhood (at which she tutted duly) and her ongoing struggle with diabetes and weight (more tutting), there was little to do. So I asked her about her family and if she had any aunts that I may have lived next door to. Now there was even less to discuss. We fell into a merciful though somewhat awkward silence.Later when she bought coffee from the vendor, she offered to buy me a cup. I said I didn't drink tea or coffee. And when I brought out my lunch packet, I offered to share it with her. It appeared she had already had her lunch. More silence ensued during which I wondered what to talk about next. I asked her if she had seen the latest blockbuster movie. It seems she didn't watch movies. She wondered if I listened to classical music. Only movie songs, I replied. After enquiring about interests in cricket and politics, I realised we had exhausted all possible topics of civil conversation. Religion was too personal and I didn't know her well enough to enquire if she had any illnesses she would like to discuss.Our ordeal came to an end when the train reached its destination half-an-hour later. Finally, as we got off the train, I insisted that we stay in touch. I gave her my number and she duly took it down. My number had an extra '0' in it and she jotted it on piece of scrap paper. ---- Credits to ammani's blog

I think we all run across this episode at least twice a week, either in the bus queue or in the train or now with huge towering apartments even in the building lift or in the office lift or cafetaria....... Share your episode and any suggestions to deal with this scenario

Transformation of my Blog

After several attempts to continue postings on my blog i have realised some things,
1. My life doesnt seem to be as happening as other bloggers who have something to write everyday OR
2. I dont have the perspective to create a readable article out of the things which DO happen in my life.
3. My once in a month article is not going to get regular visitors to my blog, which makes the effort of writing in that one stroke of inspiration useless.
4. I am a voracious reader who keeps on scanning and reading blogs on topics from Hypnosis to Terorrism to Child pshycology.

In light of the above I struck upon this idea of creating a Blog where i would aggregate the "Best of my readings". This blog hereupon shall be updated frequently with articles from mutiple blogs, which i find interesting. In short this blog shall transform to " Supermarket of Blogs". Of course just like the Supermarket, the blog shall have "in house" articles written by me in that "wild burst of imagination" :-)
Actually I beleive that this way my blog shall also live up to its name in letting you know "About This and That and Everything Else"

Do let me know if you like this concept of the "blog Supermarket" and of course on the selection of articles !!!

Customer Care Dilbert way

"Electrifying" Beauties

Hot Babes, Electrifying beuty... the term now has a literal meaning.

"American designer called Andrew Schneider who has developed, as a project for the ITP Winter Show in New York, what he calls the iDrink swimwear line of solar bikinis. A concept idea has been developed by Schneider to cover it with a socket for recharging a mobile phone while you sunbathe. The iDrink’s photovoltaic film panels allow a fashionable fit while supplying 6.5 V @ 1.5 Amps needed to power a peltier junction and recharge a mobile phone. "

The Bikini also has USB connection so you can charge your iPods and Mp3 players..
Great invention with one problem..... No one wears Bikinis in India and no one sun bathes... i mean no one Sun bathes voluntarily :-).... so how do we modify this to Indian needs.

Our Indian designers must work to develop a iDrink Saree. Imagine what a wonderful use of the pallu this would be to capture solar energy and use it to charge your mobiles and iPods.. Also there shall be no need to sunbathe, all you need to do is get a saree clad woman to raom around on the road.

So imagine Mr. Vijay Shankar who stays in Mulund in Mumbai wants to charge his mobile..... Mulund being Mulund faces power cuts. Vijay is expecting an urgent call so what does he do.... he could loose a multi million deal because of the dead mobile... Bingo...idrink Saree comes to rescue... Vijay asks his wife to go for a walk in the afternoon she comes back in half an hour fully charged and ready to electrify... the mobile in mean... ;-)
Soon we could have Mobile "Mobile charging stations "-- women who shall allow you to "hook" up to them to recharge your "devices"... for a fee and guess what they will be called ..... "Bijlees"....

And guess who should be the Brand ambassador for idrink Saree ---- yes our own ravishing, cricketing, electrifying beauty Mandira bedi....... :-)

Google answer to Microsoft Yahoo! merger

Microsoft To Buy out Yahoo!!! ... Goes the recent headlines in a leading Indian business daily. Media Hype or "there is no smoke without fire" only time shall tell. But Telecom pundits have been hinting of this kind of consolidation for a long time. The Google Microsoft fight has already emerged from being the David and Goliath fight to be the "Clash of the Titans" and its now a game of chess with moves and countermoves... with a difference that both continue to invent pawns with new moves :-).
Hypothetically assuming that Microsoft and Yahoo! do come together what does it mean for Google. Microsoft and Yahoo! have a common DNA -- both once virtual monopolies in their respective games are now defending champions in the telecom arena. Microsoft once the undisputed kind of OS has now to contend with increasing advances of Google who has been increasingly popularising the Software as a service model --- check out Googledocs, google spreadsheet and host of other hosted applications in Googles portfolio. Yahoo! on the other hand once an undisputed king of the mail world and IM (atleast in the world apart from US) is now contending with Skype on one hand and Gmail and Google talk on the other. Yahoo! and Microsoft both have been grapling with Googles advances in the search world and Google seems to be a step ahead with its recent purchase of Doubleclick. Both Yahoo! and Microsoft have been impacted by Googles disruptive market models....... I can go on and on about the moves and countermoves between Yahoo!, Microsoft and Google..... but then this post is not about the war-- its about alliances.
"What will be Google response to a Yahoo! Microsoft merger???"
That is the million dollar question. I am no expert but heres my answer
" Google shall merge/buy Apple"
Sounds wierd -- well it should because most of Google and Apples ideas do.....!!!!
Lets look at a basis for Google Apple merger. Google may have several things but it still lacks one thing an OS. Agreed that it is trying to popularise a SAAS model but you still need an OS till you have every computer in the world having access to an always on Broadband connection. And then too the question of security means that some will still prefer a resident OS. So Google gets an OS from Apple, why Apple you say why not Linux....well simply because the DNA of Google and Apple match ----
Google known for innovation just like Apple for its beautiful and innovative interface (Apple users will swear by it)
Google a challenger so has been Apple since its birth.
Google naming ceremony forced-- the orignal name was Googel but since the firts funding cheque came mispelled as Google they adopted this name. Apple naming ceremony forced -- Apple founder told its staff to find a name by evening or he would name it after the first thing he saw-- an Apple on his desk. ...
Hmm ok the last one is one too far. But the point is Google and Apple both have a DNA fit of Innovation, DNA fit of disruptive business model, DNA fit of challengers.
But what does Apple gain... all said and done Apple has still been a niche player in the OS space with compatibility issues, whereas Google is a master at application development and interoperability. Google could complete the job of getting Apple to mainstream.
Imagine the wild possibilities of marrying the craze of the decade "Apple ipod series" with "Googles video and search capabilities" You could soon be searching, sorting many more things using the ipod than just videos from the itunes store.....
Google is the Media on your iPod -- Google TV, Google Mobile and customised e-newspaper all through Apples mind-blowing GUI and device capabilties. Since viewers had to enter their Google IDs--the same ones they used for Gmail and other premium services--the company had already compiled a rich history of their searching and surfing habits.[3] If you spent a lot of time looking at cars on eBay on your Internet enabled Video ipod , for example, you'd be shown automotive ads the next time you watched Google TV on your iPod. Between 70 and 80 percent of the revenue from each ad went to the content provider, just as it had on the Web. Google TV on the iPod customised for you based on your interests tracked by Google and delivered by Apple.

Google is the Internet with Apple as the interface --- Free wi-fi, a faster version of the Web, the Gbrowser, and the cube transform the technology landscape and our language all delivered on the Apple device of the future which is as freindly and fast to use for video and voice as is the Video iPod.

Google- Apple is God -- Everything you do, every device you touch, every interface that you use, every communication that you do is powered by Google and enabled by Apple device.

The possibilties are unlimited.....or are they????
This is my hypothesis.... I invite the readers to add why they think Apple-Google could be "Tango-Charlie" of the Telecom world and also if you feel otherwise. Let the debate begin......

The Mobile Web

There is a new Internet world and its on your mobile. I see the scorns on your face and i read your thoughts..."Mobile internet is for the savvy and more importantly rich people who can afford the high end phones" " who would want to surf on the small screed" " where is the technology"... and so on. But heres a news which forecasts that the mobile internet mania is not just a "time machine" and there is actually a huge business community out there who beleives in the Mobi mania.
" Now, mobiles have their own Internet sites. Like the com and .net sites accessible through computers, .mobi sites can now be accessed through your mobiles. And the rush to register names have begun. The names that are most sought after are sex (what else) .mobi, adult, hotels, India, finance, entertainment and shop.mobi. These names were among the first 5,000 ones registered and were gone within the first 10 minutes of the opening of the registration process. One-worded less-common names like ‘scooter’ and ‘graphic’ and two-worded common names like ‘chewinggum’ and ‘dropzone’ went within the first 24 hours. According to dotMobi CEO Neil Edwards’ corporate blog, 95,000 .mobi names were bought within the first 48 hours of opening up of registrations. While the registration process for the dotmobi site was opened in last May, in India the momentum has started building of late primarily due to youngsters. Sachin, who heads Mumbai Hosting, a reseller of domain names and web hosting space to the end consumer says that the takers so far have been mostly youngsters. The websites that are accessible over a PC cannot always be opened in your mobile browser. Rich components like photographs and videos need to be removed. Most mobi-sites right now are purely text-based as it is faster to download over the mobile phone networks. Therefore, companies need to redo or optimise their websites to be made available on the mobile phone. This is also called made-for-mobile Internet."

Thus the Mobi-sites shall change the speeds and the surfing expereince on the net. And remember necessity is the mother of invention so once the content is available, the demand starts building up the devices shall re-engineer themselves to suit everyones wallets and technology shall evolve to cater to the masses. Doesnt this sound similar to the times in 1996 when mobile's were first launced? Hold your breaths and be ready to surf the mobile net.....